I must admit I love bar protocol and one of the wonderful things about bars and being a woman is that men will, from time to time, buy you a drink. For me, like a catcall, it’s a sign that somehow as old as I am I still got it, whatever it is. LOL. My husband, however, hates this. He has even asked his brothers how they feel about men buying their wives drinks. His brothers are fun and told him that they don’t care because if some fool wants to buy them drinks then they not only don’t they have to buy the drinks but often drink the drinks also. Love those guys, but their input hasn’t changed my husband’s belief. But at least he’s heard from the male perspective that it is really no big deal as his brothers didn’t feel disrespected or that their wives were opening up the door to anything. I maintain that a free drink is a gift, a small gesture of chivalry and kindness. You toast your benefactor and acknowledge the gift prior to drinking and continue on with your life. From time to time, the buyer will come over and begin a conversation but more often than not, no conversation is exchanged.
But there are unfortunate exceptions. Okay so then there are the men that buy you at drink at the club; it’s been a while since I’ve been to the club but I doubt it’s changed. They want to buy you that $8 drink and then talk to you all night and basically block from you from everybody the entire evening. Can I basically just give you the $8 back so you can go away so I can be free?
There is a protocol to everything and there are things not to do when buying a woman a drink at the bar. Now, I’ve had some friends complain that they go some places expecting and nobody has bought them a drink. I explain how it was told to me years ago from a wise and generous drink buyer. First of all, men don’t want to buy a broke girl the first drink. I respect that a man doesn’t want to buy you your first drink. But if you are so inclined to buy the second drink, here’s my thinking. The best is while you are still drinking your first, the bartender comes over and tell you that so and so is buying you a drink. How fantastic! Particularly, if all you had is money for one drink. But if you don’t do it ahead of time and I’ve ordered my second, there’s ways to do it. You can pay for my second. Cheers and thank you!
Recently, a girlfriend and I were out celebrating the holiday season. This guy was sitting next to us and I admit he was a bit bizarre. I could see he was ear hustling our conversation but whatever. We bought our martinis, laughed and against our better judgment, ordered a second round before we hit BART and Muni. Thoroughly toasted and on our way home, the bartender comes over and tells us that the strange man as he was leaving bought us a drink. Now mind you we had paid for our second drink while he was still there. So now I’ve got to get (more) drunk accepting the third drink, insult you by refusing the drink, or just waste charity. Really, the third drink? Are you waiting for me to pass out? The third drink is suicide. Thank you, kind stranger but under no circumstances should you buy me or anyone else their third drink.